Rococo25

There are so many times that people will feel like they have figured it all out. That this is what they are or who they are or this is what the world has to offer and nothing else....I think i have finally learned that this will never be the real case for me. I am done assuming anything anymore. I will never say that i will be an artist. I will never again say that my life's passion in to work with animals. Those two things really are what drive me more often than not but here's the thing: The is not going to be a time where I KNOW that that is what I'm going to end up doing that for the rest of my life. I could end up do one or both of these passions for a time but I can't try to make predictions anymore. So simply I wont.
Now don't get me wrong here. This isn't to say that I wont try to work for my passions again. This is just mt truths of not being able to tell if I will ever make them work out the way I intend them to. 
For now I believe I shall just continue to work on getting out of debt. I will create when I can and fall in love with each creation as they come. The only pressure I'm going to put on myself will be to get out of a finical negative and to move out of TN in two to three years.
I'm not trying to predict but I don't think I'm going to come into my own until I move out of the town I grew up in. I want new experiences. New environments. My mind is always out side of my bubble but my body hasn't been able to follow. There are time I look back at my small life and it can be heart breaking but there are other time that I can look at it and be so thankful for what I did get...but I'll still want more. 
So what to am I really trying to tell you and myself here.
Live smart and frugal for now Carly.
Create Anything when you can because otherwise you will shrivel up.
Love your friends, family and pack.
Travel as soon as possible.
Never stop trying to find yourself, even when you know who you are, because you never stop growing and changing.

 I live in a world that I have created for myself. No one can take that away from me and no one ever will. This brings up both a good and bad point.

First the Bad point: The shitty house I live in. The debt I have to pay. The job that I live in constant fear of getting fired from. The lonely nights I lay awake at night through.
These are things I have to live with all because I made bad decisions.

The Good point: My future can be better. All because I can change my path.

I think I'm at this cross road in my life. I feel that it's only going to take one more decision, one more path before I will be back on the right track. Life is full of different trails that we take and I feel that I took a lot of wrong turns in the past but they all lead me back to a proper road. This road is going to be filled with art, acting, and great friendships. It's just getting through a couple more dirt paths before I get to that grand highway.
 The first dirt path will be when I gain an extra $30, so that I may subscribe to DA and start Commission work. And Please, Please tell me if you would even want commission work from me.
Not to mention I will be working on my long over due comic project With A Loud Voice rococo25.deviantart.com/art/Wi…
My other dirt path is the videos I am doing on YouTube www.youtube.com/channel/UC_Cye…
Its it in baby stage so be gentle.
But in the long run I believe this will be my life. I will make something of myself between these two sites.
I take these paths. I make these choice to better my life. I will use my talents to better others lives. And I will forever be Happy because of it.

Dear World,
       
         I am awake and I truly mean that. I think I have been asleep for many years and it hasn't been until I moved into this wonderful home I'm in now that I have been able to really awaken from my slumber and be my true self.

        It's not that the place I was before was a terrible home. It's just a place I no longer belong. It was a house that held my bed and things until I could get back onto my feet and I overstayed my welcome before I had even realized it. I do feel bad for that and hope that things can be fixed but I fear my old roommate doesn't feel the same. I know we just need to talk things out but again I fear she doesn't want to listen to what I have to say. So maybe a letter? I'm not sure anymore. I hold her close to my heart still even though I don't understand her actions anymore, and I'm sure I will keep her in my heart until the day I die. So I plan to be her friend for the rest of my days. I think though, that I don't have her friendship anymore and that she plans to let me out not only her home but her heart as well. I really hope this isn't the case.
       But even with the fear of a lost friendship I am walking my path with new legs, feeling the wind and sun with new skin, and seeing the wondrous world with new eyes. Within the last 3 months I have lost a family member to breast cancer, (maybe lost a close friend), met and lost some strange roommates, made a new home, doing better at work and earned my boss' respect, learned how to budget my money better, and have been taking better care of my inner and outer self. The year has already pushed a lot of events into just a short time and I can only excite myself into what's to happen next.

       Maybe it's because of so much happening or maybe it's because of the fresh spring weather but I awoke from my dark slumber that was full of nightmares and fears and have entered a beautiful dream filled with possibilities and wonder.

                                                                                                                                Always with love,
                                                                                                                                                      Carly

Okay so I was at work and I end up meeting an artist. And I mean an artist that is actually making a living with his art. He and his art has even been in movies. Maybe he was just blowing smoke, but I like to think that there are truthful people out there. In any case, I gave him my DA name and told him to check me out. See if he could give me pointers or maybe (and this is in my dreams) that he could give me connections to the art or movie world!

  After he had left I was feeling pretty good. It was exciting to think that a professional would actually come and look at my art...And then I remembered what i have put on here....Granted I love my fun little pics I have done of Stan and Kyle, and I get a great laugh out of the weird pictures my brother and I come up with but if I am going to refer possible job connection or even possible bosses then I need make my page a little more.....professional.

  Now I don't want to delete the non-professional pictures I have one here for two reasons:
      1. I like them! Some I'm even very proud of. So I want to share them
    &2. There are people who have faved those pictures and it's just unfair to them for me to just delete their faves.

  So I had the idea to make a page that is hire safe. A page that I can send other artist or artist-seekers to without worry and know they can take me seriously.

  I will still update on this account! I love this account I can update all kinds of crazy things and all the other crazy people will maybe fave such silly pictures; and that just makes me smile. :3 BUT! If any of you would also like to follow my new account as well, I more then welcome you to. There will be something that I post on there and some things I post on here so if you dont want to miss anything I "merely suggest" you follow both.

  Here is my 2nd account:
That icon was not done by me. I borrowed it from KiKariz until I can get around to drawing one.


                                                                                                                                                                       Thank You for Reading

                                                                                                                                                                                                        - Carly