Listening to: The Earth, she tells me things.
Reading: Which way the wind wants me to go
Watching: The walls finally fall
Playing: With the idea of no boundaries
Eating: The lush fruits Mother Earth feeds me
Drinking: Up the moments that Father Time gives me.
I am awake and I truly mean that. I think I have been asleep for many years and it hasn't been until I moved into this wonderful home I'm in now that I have been able to really awaken from my slumber and be my true self.
It's not that the place I was before was a terrible home. It's just a place I no longer belong. It was a house that held my bed and things until I could get back onto my feet and I overstayed my welcome before I had even realized it. I do feel bad for that and hope that things can be fixed but I fear my old roommate doesn't feel the same. I know we just need to talk things out but again I fear she doesn't want to listen to what I have to say. So maybe a letter? I'm not sure anymore. I hold her close to my heart still even though I don't understand her actions anymore, and I'm sure I will keep her in my heart until the day I die. So I plan to be her friend for the rest of my days. I think though, that I don't have her friendship anymore and that she plans to let me out not only her home but her heart as well. I really hope this isn't the case.
But even with the fear of a lost friendship I am walking my path with new legs, feeling the wind and sun with new skin, and seeing the wondrous world with new eyes. Within the last 3 months I have lost a family member to breast cancer, (maybe lost a close friend), met and lost some strange roommates, made a new home, doing better at work and earned my boss' respect, learned how to budget my money better, and have been taking better care of my inner and outer self. The year has already pushed a lot of events into just a short time and I can only excite myself into what's to happen next.
Maybe it's because of so much happening or maybe it's because of the fresh spring weather but I awoke from my dark slumber that was full of nightmares and fears and have entered a beautiful dream filled with possibilities and wonder.
Always with love,